i have been 18
for 3
months now.
am i meant to know by now?
stumbling through time
as though i took a wrong
turn on the sat nav - when did i find myself on this street?
empty roads and swerving lanes
i didn’t think i would ever be here.
18 is not an age you can prepare for -
i am grieving 17 in all her mellow sadness;
thank you for carrying me here.
i am realising 16 is not the only one who deserves love;
thank you for carrying me here.
what a quest - to make myself good.
grow up and
become something worthy.
is frantically trying 18 worthy? i
have all the exhaustion
and confusion of 14.
i can’t seem to grow up. i don’t
want to either.
perhaps this is all 18 is -
learning to care for my friends
and care for myself
and eat well and drink water
and do well at school.
pull my boots up and make
my time worthy. laugh a little extra.
if this is all - i am enthralled.
i will spent nine more months learning
to love 18.
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