[i almost never write about others but i am incredibly blessed to have friends like i do]
my birthday is in september.
some sort of awkward,
non-committal month caught between summer and
autumn.
some years i wear dresses,
other years i shiver in a hoodie.
in some ways,
it’s me;
some sort of awkward
non-committal poet
caught between loving too much and
not saying enough.
i wish
i could
write happy birthday
cards everyday.
i wish i could scrawl
notes in my bright
pink pen every single day -
write about how
much love there is for
you all -
every day.
i would fold
little sheets of paper
into roses and butterflies
until my fingers ached.
there’s acts of devotion
in secret;
like remembering
and smiling to myself
and laughing three hours
later at the joke
and have you seen my camera roll?
i capture every moment
of joy.
so often
the photos
aren’t enough
and oh
how long i’ve
spent with
this silly illness,
lying in my bed
and letting music play
and pondering how lucky i am
for all the love.
i’ve been blowing my nose
and willing the
universe to send goodness
to everyone who i love.
there’s no
invisible string
or golden thread
but there’s some glimmer
of destiny
in the coincidences.
shared interests
and shared laughs
and aligned timings
and unplanned collisions.
to all my friends,
my dear dear friends,
i hope in every version of reality,
i find you all.
i hope we sit together and listen to
music.
i hope we share a spot on a patch of
grass
and
although i
don’t know
your middle name,
i can tell when you mean the promises you make.
my birthday is in september.
the moon pales at my
affection for friendship. she shies
and turns her face away,
and whispers to the stars.
dostoyevsky,
my favourite author,
was born in november.
i will never be born in november,
and i won’t ever be like
winter or summer.
i’ll always be autumn.
my love will always be
golden leaves
and
pulling scarves out from the back of the cupboard.
oh, my dearest
dearest friends,
i have spent nights
falling apart
yet
for all the explosions
of all the galaxies,
i guess it would be
okay if we share a small lemonade.
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