love letter (updated)

hi all!! hope u are good and happy and content and finding peace in the hectic nature of life :)

here’s an updated, renewed version of the love letter i wrote to myself some time ago. i feel like that version was somewhat bitter and upset and angry at the world. these days i feel a lot like i am living life sat within myself; walking corridors in my mind full of mirrors. i experience everything only through the beauty with which i view myself. i’ve been writing in my old diary, updating it and writing to 14 year old me and apologising and laughing and becoming more fond of her. i will fall back in love with every version of myself. i hope you enjoy xx

my girl,

take a breath love.

look.

follow your gaze down

my arm, to where i’m pointing.

let your eyes trip over

the crest and fall

of muscles and joints and elbows;

the delicate give of a wrist into a thumb

and the vulnerable

curve of a palm

into my index finger.

and where am i pointing?

at you.

at me.

(breath)

i’ve looked

for hours;

categorised

neurons

and pushed through muscle

fibres, excused

myself around nerves and

dodged kidneys -

i cannot find your pain.

i find healing

fossilised in the curve of your bones

and the solidity of who you are.

i find scar tissue stronger than skin

and fleshy promises of

what you are to become.

i applaud the

audacity of become whole.

i applaud the cleanness of

your heart.

every part

of you is infinitely worthy.

take another breath.

you have wondered the halls of your mind enough and

bruised your knees with more begging

than you ever had to.

you are love

and you are strength

and you are everything

you ever wanted to be.

you are more

than you ever had the chance

to be.

i forgive you

for the tiny bits of blonde

still in your hair.

i forgive you.

&c

(billet doux)