I was wrong! I wrote five poems yesterday :)
'me' has always been one of my favourites, i actually really like it lol. i wanted to write a second part for a while and now felt like a good time.
i dont know if you would agree but since 'untitled; undiluted' i feel like i'm in a new era! i just can't explain it. i think exams/moving house has changed me a lot, like a new Part has been born and she is entirely incredible. whatever it is, i like it. my poems feel so real right now, like i can chew them and swallow them and quench my painful hunger.
one main change i see is that i do not write about other people anymore! a lot of poems, like the love letter to myself are so based on externality, but i finally have found my ability to truly introspect and find myself in my words.
i actually have a very similar poem already written called 'mirror'; it has two parts. that poem is probably the best i have ever written. but that is a very personal poem, and i would never post it. some Parts of me i keep to myself, to talk to in the hazy moment before sleep where boundaries are weak and and i am able to come to her realm, and she to mine. maybe one day she will be ready to come out. for now, i keep her safe and water her.
anyway! enjoy :D
song: sandcastles - beyoncé
i want to be me
not my history
i am me
i am every me that has existed; i am not
my history,
but i am what i have learnt from it
i am multiplicity and its
complex, disgusting beauty
i am the Oneness born
therein
i am my Parts,
i am the flowers of my garden and
i am the gardener;
watering, loving,
nurturing
accepting every flower.
some are thorny yet love me still.
i am learning to love them
they beg the most
to touch me, for me to hold them
i am hurt in the process, but i must
hurt to heal. i must
hurt to heal.
i am not to be understood,
i am not be perceived
i am not my history
i am tinged by it;
like a sprinkle of colour
but there is a vast array of colours within me
my history is not the brightest
the brightest is my love
i am love
i am not history
i am love
i love my Parts
i love my Whole
i love my family
i love mySelf
i love my universe
i am not my history
i am love itself
tat tvam asi
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