i've felt a bit broken for some time now. not in a very sad way but i feel as though my poems just haven't been good they haven't been the same. i reread some of the older ones from earlier this year and my heart stutters at how just amazing they are. it's incredible how much i admire past versions of me.
part of me came to a conclusion that my writing had changed, that I had changed, and i would never write these lovely poems so much anymore. i went from 3 poems a week to crying on my bed and begging the stars for something, ANYTHING. i resigned myself to my experimental prose, to 2(0)6 and 16, 17, 18 and the other ones i have in the work.
alas, something clicked today. it is so fulfilling to write and feel like it's good and know i'll read these two poems later next year and love them i'll love love love them.
creativity is so fickle. part of me was okay with changing my creative identity, leaving behind natasha the poet. but it's so ingrained me, i kept trying i kept trying and here i am :).
creativity is such an interesting concept. some days it's on my side and it works with my and the energy of the universe is flowing through me and it just happens. other days i stare at my notepad for hours and curse at the moon or something. it's just hard. and when creativity and writing is so much to me it's so difficult to ever feel they are at risk.
i won't ever stop writing. this will always be me, everything everything all of me. all of me. always.
lots of lovely things coming soon, very cool things in the works. thank you for reading my work as always. endlessly grateful to all of you. sending so much love so much love. love and hugs <3 you're all amazing, i hope you enjoy my work hehe.
bisous tash xx
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